Olivia Penpraze was driven to suicide by bullying and depression

For years, Olivia Penpraze lived a life of secret torture.

A victim of vicious bullying and crushing depression, the Melbourne teenager tried multiple times to take her own life. 

The cycle of misery was so horrible that for years she set at date - May 1 - to die and three times attempted suicide, but failed.

Finally, in 2012, her last suicide bid left her lying in hospital, clinically brain dead. Her parents, Warren and Kellie, were forced to make the unthinkable decision to turn off their beloved daughter's life support.

It wasn't until Mr Penpraze went onto Olivia's laptop after her death the shocked couple discovered an online suicide diary their daughter had made, where she spoke candidly about the living nightmare of bullying she endured day after day for half of her life.

Scroll down for video 

The suicide video that Olivia Penpraze's (pictured) parents found after they had to turn her life support off when she was pronounced brain dead from her final suicide attempt in April 2012

The 19-year-old had been severely depressed since 2003 and began to self harm by 2008 where she made her first suicide attempt and by 2009 she couldn't face going to school anymore

The troubled teenager also made an incredibly confronting and heartbreaking five-minute video in which she held up palm cards explaining how she had constantly put on a front but she could no longer hide her true self.

'I guess I look like your normal happy teenager - I wish I was but I'm far from happy and normal,' she says on the cards in the video.

'Im great at hiding all my problems and wear the best fake smile 24/7 so no one knows how much I'm suffering inside.

'None of my friends know anything about me - they fall for my fake laughs and smiles - they believe I'm fine.'

Olivia had been severely depressed since 2003 and began to self harm by 2008 where she made her first suicide attempt.

'I was in year 10 and no one noticed,' she said through her palm cards on the video.

'I had stopped eating and was diagnosed with anorexia weighing around 39kg - no one had noticed.'

Olivia with her loving family from left to right: brother Alex, mum, Kellie and dad, Warren

The disturbing image of Olivia holding all of her hospital bracelets up to the camera (right) from 2009

The troubled teen from Melbourne started to suffer from paranoia, delusions and hallucinations

It was around this time that Olivia began to see a 'ghost-like figure' who then became an imaginary friend called Bree. 

'In 2009, I had dropped out of school and spent everyday crying wishing and praying to die.

'I don't remember 2009. I don't remember why.' 

'By 2010, I tried to go back to school but my depression was too much to handle.'

This was when she resorted to serious suicide attempts.

'I have attempted suicide more times than I can count,' she said before showing a handful of her hospital bracelets from the previous year. 

'I just want everything to be over, I've been in therapy and hospitalised many times since this started, I've been trying so hard to be happy but I can't anymore.

'I can't hide anymore behind a fake smile, I can't pretend I'm okay. I'm going to go away and no one will notice.'

After changing schools halfway through Year 9 and in between many hospital visits, Olivia managed to finish Year 11.

'I can't hide anymore behind a fake smile, I can't pretend I'm okay. I'm going to go away and no one will notice'

After years of questioning why she was living in an inescapable hell, it wasn't until her psychiatrist asked about her childhood that it all suddenly made sense

Olivia began to believe the comments which made her a depressed young girl who couldn't accept comments, could never believe she was beautiful and led to self harm - and eventually her tragic premature death

Olivia went onto say that although she has made many attempts to end her life this did not make her a failure. 

'Just because I've failed to kill myself doesn't make me weak, it doesn't make me pathetic or an attention seeker and if you've failed too it doesn't make you any of these things either,' she said.

'You are strong, you are brave and you will get through this I promise.'

She also started to suffer from paranoia, delusions and hallucinations, 

'I was terrified for my life, I couldn't stop worrying I couldn't stop making the voices stop,' she explained.

'They're the evil people and they have been trying to kill me ever since and they've only been getting worse. I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO ANYMORE.'

The beautiful young woman at her Year 12 school formal in Melbourne

Olivia implored those who have the urge to bully others to think twice about the crippling ramifications from their cruel actions

As much as her mother tried she knew she couldn't protect her little girl forever

She described her psychosis as a 'living, breathing nightmare' and a state of mind that no one could ever comprehend unless they had experienced the horror themselves.

'What's it like to live in constant fear of things that aren't even real, to hear all these voices that I can't make shut up,' she said.

'What's it like to experience all these things that aren't real for anyone else, to see all these evil things that closing my eyes or even sleep won't make go away, to feel their evil presence, feel them touch me, hold me, hurt me............I feel them try to kill me.

'But no one can see this invisible killer, so it's like I'm living in a nightmare but I can't wake up.' 

After years of questioning why she was living in an inescapable hell, it wasn't until her psychiatrist asked about her childhood that it all suddenly made sense.

'Then it hit me - BULLYING! All my pain is caused by heaps of tiny comments built up over the years.'

Olivia's parents, Warren (right) and Kellie (centre) Penpraze, and Olivia's friend (left) made an anti-bullying commercial to promote the angels4oliva campaign

'Ugly', 'stupid', 'waste of space', 'useless', 'pathetic' and 'better off dead' are only a small portion of deeply hurtful insults that Olivia had been on the receiving end of for many years.

She began to believe the horrendous comments which made her an extremely depressed young girl who couldn't accept complimentts, could never believe she was beautiful and led to self harm - and eventually her tragic premature death. 

She made a desperate plea for people to reach out to their loved ones who suffer from mental health.

'Please talk to your friends when they show signs of mental illness, because you can save their life. That's all I ask of anyone because no one saved me.' 

'We are making a pledge to stop bullying from happening again join us and say no more,' Mrs Penpraze (pictured) says in the commerical

Olivia (left) and her mother (right) used to go for a drive to McDonald's in the middle of the night when the teen wasn't able to sleep due to the voices in her head

Olivia then implored those who have the urge to bully others to think twice about the crippling ramifications from their cruel actions. 

'If you're ever thinking about bullying someone don't because you could ruin their life. You words hurt and could make someone take their life,' she said.

'Bullying needs to stop, no one deserves to be bullied ever - please just put a stop to bullying.'

The desperately unhappy young woman declared in the video which she made in 2002 that although she had attempted suicide every year on May 1 since 2008 - she was not going to fail again. 

'Thanks for watching and please remember that I love you and so do many others - your life is worth living,' she says with the final palm card in the video before making a love heart sign with her hands and blowing a kiss to the camera.

The ad slogan is 'no more angels lost to bullying' and calls for more positivity and understanding

Olivia was a happy-go-lucky girl who became a very different person when she was 15

Since her death, Olivia's heartbroken family have put all of their energy into creating an awareness campaign through theangels4olivia website and the R.I.P Olivia Penpraze Facebook page.

Mr and Mrs Penpraze made a commercial calling for a desperate need to put an end to bullying.

'We are making a pledge to stop bullying from happening again join us and say no more,' Mrs Penpraze said.

The ad slogan is 'no more angels lost to bullying' as her father said there was an urgent need for more 'one to one help'. 

Mrs Penpraze said Olivia became a different person when she was 15.

'She was such a happy kid and would talk to anybody - we lived across the road from a park and if there were kids there she would go down and talk to them and want to play with them,' she said.

'I think at the time I just thought it was just the adolescent years and puberty - her body changing - all that sort of thing.'

Olivia's father, Warren Penpraze (pictured), says there was an urgent need for more 'one to one help'

Olivia really struggled with attending school and swapped schools halfway through Year 9

But it wasn't long before her parents began to witness her serious mental health issues. 

'I used to check on her during the night or she would wake me up and say she couldn't sleep because of the voices in her head so I would have to drive to McDonald's at 3am and get mochas and things like that,' she said.

Her mother quickly realised it was not possible to watch over her distressed daughter all of the time once she became an adult.

'I would say to her "I'm your mother and I want to do everything for you - I want to protect you but I know now you're 18 and I can't look after you 24/7".'

Mrs Penpraze said her daughter had very low self-esteem about her appearance.

'I used to tell to her she was beautiful and she would say "oh you just say that - you have to say that because you're my mother" - she couldn't accept compliments,' she said.

'It took her forever to get ready - if she was going out she would change four or five times - she would do her hair one way and then another way - she was just so self-conscious of her looks.' 

Olivia's parents had no idea that her issues had stemmed from being bullied until her husband came across Olivia's blog.

Mrs Penpraze had spoken to the principal when she was in primary school about a few issues but nothing had come to light since.

'I actually didn't really know about the bullying until I actually saw her video that said about bullying that I realised that is what had caused it all,' she said.

The gorgeous girl had a very low self-esteem when it came to her appearance

Although the confronting footage was gut-wrenching to watch, Mrs Penpraze takes some solace in the fact that Olivia was determined to leave a strong message for her family to continue spreading.

'She wanted to tell everybody because you can be an everyday person in a happy family with two loving and supportive parents,' she said.

'You don't have to be from a struggling family to get depression and anxiety - it doesn't just happen to people on the wrong side of the track.'

It was very distressing for Olivia's parents to read that when their daughter was expressing how she was feeling on her blog there were people who were leaving heartless replies. 

'Some people were saying "if you're so bad just go and kill yourself" and they wanted her to post pictures if she cut herself,' Mrs Penpraze said.

'I only glanced over it, I didn't really want to see it, I had enough bad things that I went through with her without having to see that as well.'

The Penpraze's recently sold their home in Melbourne and made a fresh start in sunny Queensland.

'I definitely feel she is at peace now - I know she would have loved it up here being by the water but you cant say "I wish we moved earlier".'

If you, or someone you know, needs support please call Lifeline on 13 11 14 or visit lifeline.org.au, beyondblue on 1300 22 4636 or visit beyondblue.org.au or Kids Helpline on 1800 55 1800 or visit kidshelp.com.au

Olivia nds her suicide video by making a love heart sign with her hands and blowing a kiss to the camera

ncG1vNJzZmivp6x7pa3IpbCmmZmhe6S7ja6iaKaVrMBwrdGtoJyklWKAc32Vb2dqZ36kerC6xGaip6enqHq0wcWfnKuhnpx6qrrSopueZZiarrPA1qucp5uYnruoedWim56nXZm2or7YZpmemaWptqfBy2arnp2eYrGztdWepWarpZ6wqrDEZpmupJyutq%2BzjJ2cqaqVqMCqu81mnZqlmaHGbr%2BMnZytnaKitq%2Bt06Kmp2WUmq61tIynpq1lppa2r3rHraSl